This beautiful reflection on grief by Sheryl Sandberg made me think about many things –
One of them is this:
Every morning, for all of our days and years together, Dan and I have breakfast together. We brew coffee, we fry an egg, toast (Dan’s homemade) bread, blend a smoothie. We eat at the table and then move to the living room couch where we have our coffee and listen to the Eye Opener on CBC.
Before James was born, we began to ask ourselves: What will happen to this favorite ritual? Will it go away?
Well for the first six weeks or so it did go away. At that time I would hand James off to Dan at 6 a.m. and he’d let me sleep until the last possible moment before he went to work.
But now, the ritual is back. James is our alarm clock and he usually gets up around 6. One of us clicks brew on the coffee and it all begins. The nights are better now – J usually only gets up twice and sometimes even once (!) – and though I’m still tired when he starts cooing, I’m also excited to drink coffee with my boys. James nestles into one of our laps – smiles just pour out of him during this hour. I make breakfast; we sit at the table; we talk about how cute James is and how gaga we are for him.
There is nothing particularly extraordinary about all of this – I mean, it’s just coffee and eggs- but if it ever became impossible to have this ritual, I would miss it like mad. I would ache for it – because, of course, it is more than extraordinary – it is sacred – to eat and sit and talk with the two people I love most.
When does it hit you – how scary it is to love so much? To realize that if it was taken away from you, you might crumble?
Sandberg’s post is honest and raw and I loved everything about it. But I especially appreciated how she reminds that we really can’t take the everyday things for granted. Not ever. And how lucky we are all just to be here – to be alive – and to love.
What are your favorite daily rituals?